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Dear Men, We need You, We want you

February 14, 2023

I love being a Woman. 

Even though our society is built for the Man, I would choose to be a Woman 8 days a week.

To be a Woman means that I can constantly evolve without much questioning from society. 

Women, Feminism, and the equalling of the genders have given Women the opportunity to elevate in so many areas of life: professional, academic, and financial. Women even outperform Men in metrics like Health and Overall Happiness. 

Women are killing it! And wow am I so proud of us. 

Yet Men are killing themselves. 

And in many ways, Men are tanking. 

Men’s health is declining. 

Few are talking about Men’s Joy.

Men’s “role” since Feminism hasn’t really evolved (which is a problem),

so the question is what would it be like if Men could get curious about how they could evolve?

As I’ve been working with people and their personal development over the past 4 years I’ve been able to speak to Men from a variety of backgrounds and ages. From teens to men in their 60s, Men who identify as Angelinos to Ghanaians. 

Most of the Men I spoke to in one way or another felt totally lost, yet they don’t feel supported. 

They also didn’t know how to talk about their masculinity, misogyny, or the patriarchy because they often didn’t see it as a problem or an opportunity for growth. 

Until I started asking them questions. 

When I ask men about what they could and “should” do responses tended to look like some generic form of this:

  • Be Strong
  • Be Stoic, don’t have or show emotion
  • Make money, be a provider
  • Never show weakness or fault
  • Display confidence (even when you’re not) / “Fake it til you make it”

When I ask questions about what they feel men couldn’t or “shouldn’t” do based on their conditioning. That list was long. 

  • Show weakness or softness
  • Show emotion, cry, or be vulnerable
  • Don’t talk, walk, or display any femininity 
  • Basically – don’t do anything “girly”

When I ask why they bought into these stereotypes, it was clear that they hadn’t really flexed the muscle of questioning their role. 

Most men’s answers? They didn’t want to be seen as less Masculine by OTHER MEN. 

Men fear Men.

Now if we could break that down, this is actually pretty homoerotic. 

Men are posturing for other Men’s approval. 

Men aren’t actually looking at what makes them more attractive to or better partners for Women.

(Wounded) Masculinity has become a club of doing more, making more, producing more, fucking more, and numbing more.

What if Men desired to simply feel better? 

What if Men desired to be more attractive to and better partners for Women?

Before coaching, my background was in the beauty industry, and makeovers were a part of the culture. 

I’ve started to think about how Masculinity is in need of a makeover… 

And a more appropriate term that appeals to Men…

Men are in desperate need of Emotional Fitness. 

And Women are actively seeking this valuable trait. 

This year you are going to see me lean into the topic of masculinity, 

and instead of framing Men as the problem, 

I want to center them as THE solution. 

Unless we shift how we (society) talk about Men, 

until we invite Men to the table, 

we will be shorthanded when attempting to solve the challenges that face us in relationships and as a society. 

I am going to continue to coach Women around their life and relationships, 

yet I am crystal clear that the REAL work lies with Men and their Emotional Fitness. 

Coaching only women in relationships only goes so far, 

because the truth is 


Men who want to learn how to love. To create and sustain deep and meaningful relationships. 

Men who know how to love themselves, their brothers, and their fathers.

Men who know how to challenge and lead other Men. 

Men who have the heart and ability to love us, Women. 

Men that create businesses, boards, and families that contribute to society, not pollute it.   

Dear Men, my God we f*cking need you. 

I love you so much and I want to have your back when it comes to learning how to be a better HUman. And a better man. 

We’ve all been waiting for you to rise. 

To lead relationships alongside us. 

Your time is NOW.

Through my work and my personal experience, I believe that deeper conversations around masculinity are vitally urgent especially when we look at men’s mental health. 

In the United States, we see such high rates of suicide that men’s life expectancy has begun to decline. For this to be happening in an industrialized nation is astounding. 

Our culture is in the midst of a Men’s Health Crisis. 

If the story isn’t directly related to Men’s Health then it’s a story that is related to Men’s Relationship and their loneliness epidemic. Research is showing that 1 in 7 Men has no friends. 

Men are far more resistant to going to a physician for their basic needs, 

Let alone seek support from a therapist or Mental Health advisor.

More Men are more likely to buy guns than they are to do self-development work.

How tragic, how our culture is failing Men.

Imagine violence being your only conditioned answer… 

Let’s shift that to cultivating emotional fitness and mental mastery. 

This article is a call for men to elevate & evolve.