January 9, 2023
My #1 book recommendation of the year.
📖 “𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒐 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆: 𝑴𝒆𝒏, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚”
By bell hooks
bells hooks teaches Men how to be better and more complete Men, and shows Men how the patriarchy deeply harms them too. bell’s work makes Feminism more understood by Men (and Women).
And we still have a long way to go.
I love championing bell’s work in Intersectional Feminism,
and much as I love to support Men.
My love of both are equal.
Men benefit from Feminism!
More on that topic in next month’s book recommendation.
This book brought it all together for me.
Mostly, it gave such context to my real life lived experience with Men and their disconnection from their emotional bodies.
I recommend this book because it teaches Men how to be better and more complete Men, and shows Men how the patriarchy deeply harms them in addition to Women.
bell hooks writes,
“Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term “masculinity”) is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.”
bell explain clearly and without uncertainty that the patriarchy does its best to harm both Men and Women, traps them in rigid, inflexible gender roles that limit Men’s emotional expression and force them to accept pain and loneliness as duty and then deny their feelings or needs after.
𝑴𝒆𝒏 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒑 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒊𝒆.
💔 And every time I see it,
Because you know who suffers?
Men! And their profound, deep JOY.
(And then, Women suffer from Men’s suffering)
I want you to imagine a world filled with Men InJoy.
A world where Men embraced themselves, each other, and their community more fully.
Positive Masculinity is easily celebrated.
THAT’S the world that I am actively creating.
Will you join me?
My work and DM’s are wide open to you.
We… Women and the World… need you in all of your Divinely Positive Traits. Time to ditch those TMT’s (toxic masculine traits)
🥂 to the Men who want to grow in more whole huMans.